EAST AMHERST, N.Y. (WKBW) — Going back to school can be a stressful times for families. Tip #1 to handle the stress from Assistant Director of Clinical Services for Catholic Charities Michelle Abraham – relax.
“The calmer the parents can stay, the calmer the kids can stay,” Abraham said. She also said to make sure to prepare your kids for school a few days before. “There’s a tendency to want to avoid it. I actually recommend the opposite. That’s exactly the time to talk about it”.
It’s important to remember since going back to school means new routines and new schedules for everyone. Mental health counselor Lynne Shine says the best way to help your kid get used to the new routine is by doing them early.
“Even going into middle school, we do have control over what the kids can do,” Shine said. “Going to bed at the same time that they would when going to school. Even more important than going to bed, have them start getting up at the same time as getting ready for school”.
Just as the morning routine is important, your child’s after school routine is just as important. Just as you may want to relax for a second after work, your child should do the same.
“That’s a really good time to set some play time, or to just have them sit in front of a TV for a minute and have a snack,” Abraham said. “Just something to keep it real lowkey”.
Abraham noted it’s important for parents to realize the transition into school is much longer than just that first week.
According to Nemours Kids Health, 37% of kids experience stress at least once a week. The primary reason for the stress is school. Since the stress of school can be continous throughout the semester/school year, Shine says you want to make sure to keep an out on your kids behavior in case they may be showing signs of stress.
“If your child is normally happy and smiling and all of a sudden they’re not anymore, or they’re a good sleeper and they’re not anymore or eating in a different way, or crying more or angry more, then you need to pay attention to it,” Shine said.
The study from Nemours also found that 53% of students think their parents do not understand them and are not listening to them. Shine said the listening is crucial.
“The more important thing is put your phone down, turn off the tv and look at them. Ask them say I”m noticing that something is different. How are you doing? Are you anxious about going to school?,” Shine said. “And listen to what they have to say about it.”
While you may be caught up in worrying about your child’s stress, both Shine and Abraham said you need to recognize when your stress.
“That’s a great point,” Shine said. “You’re also modeling. When you’re a parent, you’re modeling behavior. So when you’re anxious, your children are feelin anxious”.
This does not mean to hold back that you’re stressed however. Just as it’s good for the children to say they are feeling stressed and anxious, it’s okay for parents to admit it as well. Full transparancey about how you’re feeling is key to figuring out how to handle stress and anxiety.
“In order to feel safe, we need authenticity,” Shine said. “Parents can more often than not, if they’re helped, they can help their children”.
